bored...

I'm bored.  I'm bored a lot. 

Sounds silly I know, but even when my 2yr old has me running in circles, I still get bored.  Maybe I'm not easily entertained, although I've always thought I was.  Or maybe, it's the fact that I rarely ever get to do adult activities, and thus I spend my days doing 2yr old activities.  It's BORING people! 

Miss A. has an attention span of roughly 5-8 minutes.  You'd think that would be great for me, getting to do so many different things, but in reality, it's just frustrating.  We play with blocks/legos for 5 minutes - usually me building and Miss A. shoving matchbox cars into my "house," then we color - that lasts maybe 3 minutes, onto playing with the "non-playable" train that she was given for Christmas (not from us!!!).  It goes on and on all day long.  I don't get a break.  I try to sneak away every once and a while, usually when she is watching a movie/show, and check emails or play on the internet, but even then I usually get bored with the lack of whats out there.  I love to read, but I can't even read a book unless it's one of her books, she doesn't like my attention diverted.  So I think maybe we'll try DAYCARE! 

I'm not going to enroll her in a full time daycare, but I've been wanting to check into this "Drop-In" daycare for a while.  Not having family around here makes it somewhat hard to find a babysitter when I have a doctor's appointment or need to do something without trying to wrangle a child at the same time.  I have a friend who's daughter goes to this daycare/pre-school, and it sounds really good.  I'm planning on stopping in tomorrow and checking the place out.  I have a doctor's appointment coming up and could try it out then. 
I've also toyed with the idea of doing some sort of part time work, just to get out of the house and to interact with other adults.  You can't imagine what the lack of adult conversation will do to you unless you are a stay-at-home Mom.   Lets add in that we don't have the money for me to go out and do things with Miss A. unless they are free. There's not much of that folks, especially when there is snow on the ground.  And trips to walmart and target don't count...  most o the time they are just time wasters, and I end up with a screaming child who wants to do something she can't. 

Back to daycare...
I went to daycare as a child, my husband didn't.  My parents were divorced and didn't have much choice.  My husband on the other hand spent his childhood at home with his siblings and his stay-at-home Mom.  I turned out just fine.  My husband... well... he is a bit socially awkward.**  He'd admit this, I'm not saying something he wouldn't.  And because of this, he has a desire for Miss A. to not be socially awkward.  I can't imagine with my family (we're very close and decently outgoing) that she'd ever have a problem, but you never know.  So even the Hubbs thinks this is a good idea.  Besides, in the fall we'll probably start her in a pre-school somewhere.  So why not go ahead and get her used to it? 

These are my random thoughts as I'm sitting here bored trying to decide what to do.  Couldn't come up with a good post for our family blog so I unloaded here instead.

**I am NOT in any way, shape or form saying that children who have SAHMs are going to be socially awkward!  I would never say that.  But we do feel that interaction with other children is vital.

goin' Barbie...

What is it that makes us, more so women than men, so unhappy with the way we are made?  I'm not judging, I have a few things I'd like to change... things that can't be changed with diet and exercise.  I don't know a single woman who looks at herself and thinks she is perfect the way she is.  It's sad. 

So where does the blame for not liking how we look fall?  Do we blame ourselves, our lack of self esteem... do we blame God for how he made us?  I don't think we can blame either.  And let's be honest, I don't think we can completely blame society or the world we live in for how we feel either.  I know it's everywhere and flaunted in our faces, but unless you're a model, you aren't going to ever look like that and you know it.  That is unless you "go Barbie."

"Going Barbie," my little moniker for plastic surgery.  Again, not judging. 

Recently I got on a kick about plastic surgery and how I wanted to do it.  Yep... it's something I've thought of several times since having my daughter.  And I won't lie, I'd thought of it before that too, but after what pregnancy does to your body, whoa!  I've been thinking of compiling some of my thoughts into a little book, and one of those thoughts is how much "they" don't tell you about pregnancy.  Like, I'm sure most of you know that during pregnancy a woman's bust size increases (and all the men cheer!).  But did you also know that most likely after pregnancy, even if you aren't breastfeeding, that wonderfully larger bust size will decrease to a smaller size then what you were pre-pregnancy.  HELLO!!  What woman really wants that (other than the already well endowed ladies - we're jealous of you, just sayin').

Now, it's taken me a long time to be comfortable with my body.  I'm not a stick thin lady, never have been, never will be.  And I don't want to be either.  But, I have some extra curves/rolls I wouldn't mind getting rid of.  One of my best friends and I had a conversation about this once.  She wanted to get rid of some of her largely endowed bust and tush.  I instantly told her, we needed to find a doctor that would be willing to take it from her and give it to me.  I have very little on the top and none on the back. (LOL... you think I jest)  That conversation stays in the back of my mind and I often think, that would be one rich doctor.   

Anyway, back to the topic, 'goin' Barbie.'  Ultimately I see nothing wrong with it.  I know several people who have had surgery, cosmetic and otherwise, and I don't think of them badly.  Shoot, it's their choice not mine.  But that's exactly the thing that holds me back.  What will others think of me?  Yeah, I'd get the stares and such from people I know, and they'd probably talk, maybe I'd even have to explain.  But it's my family I'd be most worried about.  How my family sees me is most important to me.  Of course the Hubbs would LOVE it, but what about my younger cousins, or my younger sister?  And then what happens when Miss A. gets to be 16 and complains about her size?  (it's inevitable, what girl doesn't?)  How do I look at my sweet child and say "God didn't make a mistake when he made you, you are beautiful the way you are"?

So, I don't think I'll be going under the knife any time soon, if ever.  It takes a stronger person than me to do it.  Instead, I guess I'll try to change the things I can change, and get a push-up bra to change the rest!
 

just my luck?

It never fails, I find something I like and want, but wait to buy it and when I'm ready... it's gone.  I try not to buy things I don't need, especially when I don't have the money.  But as winter approached this year, I knew I needed a pair of snow boots.  I looked around and finally found a pair I liked at Target.  They weren't horrible looking, and were reasonably priced, but I didn't feel like I could buy them right away.  I knew I was getting money for Christmas, and why I didn't go ahead and get them knowing this, well, who knows.   So what happens?  I go back after Christmas and they're GONE!!!  Just my luck, right?  (This comes on the heels of missing out on an incredible Play Doh opportunity, to which I'm not thankful, because I do hate play doh)

I do believe that things happen for a reason, even silly little things like not getting a pair of shoes.  But that didn't help the fact that I needed a pair of winter boots.  Miss A is almost 2.5yrs old and she loves to play outside, especially in the snow.  We visited my Mom over Christmas and they had a good foot of snow.  We played in the snow for a good bit while we were there, and every time I had to wear these ankle boots that were really old and my socks got wet and I got cold.  So today I decided I'd go over to Walmart and get a cheap pair of their generic boots I had seen.  Wrong again!  They didn't have my size.  I even tried the Men's department and the rain boots, but nothing was a go.  Being frustrated I ran over to Marshalls.  I found  pair but they were the smallest size 9 I had ever tried on, more like a 7.  (Yes I have big feet, but a 9 gives me room for layered socks... a must in cold weather)  Once again discouraged coming out of a store I thought I'd try one more place.

My Mom had mentioned Payless, and I had looked there, but didn't see much I liked.  Plus, their winter boots for some reason were priced pretty high.  But we tried it anyway.  Miss A had a blast running up and down the aisles and trying on shoes... thankfully we were the only ones in the store and the manager was so stinkin' friendly she just laughed at Miss A, she even gave her a sticker.  But I was in luck, this time, as I found a pair that fit, weren't hideous (definitely not cute though) and were a price I could handle.  So here you go, my new winter boots:

They kind of remind me of moon boots or something strange.  The good news is they are super comfy and are lined with fake fur so they are warm.  I may not even need that extra pair of socks.  As for looks, well, they'll be dirty and half covered by my snow pants.  I guess this is a time when I can't worry about being fashionable and instead just have tons of fun with my little girl. 

**side note and quite random, ever get a "ulcer" on the side of your tongue?  I get things like this when I haven't been eating right, and I sure didn't eat right over Christmas, so it's not a surprise.  Anyway, those babies hurt!  They make talking and eating difficult, and we all know I LOVE to do both......   just a thought.