Friday, February 4, 2011

Back to work...

Yep, it's official I'm going back to work.  Actually, it's not "back" in the sense that I'll be going back to design, as much as going back into the working world.  (Confused yet?)  It's kinda been top secret as the official announcement hasn't come out yet, but I feel like I can share the news here since no one reads this blog anyway.  (Is anyone reading this?)

For some time now, I've been struggling with being a stay at home mom.  It isn't an easy job folks.  Some people (stay at home Dads included) take to it, I didn't so much.  I tried to make the most of the past 2.5 years, but I probably didn't do the best job.  I never saw myself as a stay at home mom and always has this wish that I could contribute to our income.  Not the mention that I get so bored (more about that here), I am losing my mind, and I don't feel like the best wife and mother.  I had been praying about it, feeling so out of control and like I was going to go crazy, when I walked into the church office last week to deliver my work like I do every Tuesday morning.  Nothing was different except when I went to leave our head pastor asked if he could walk me out.  Sure? 

We talked for a few minutes and he told me that our office manager Miss K. was resigning.  She needed more flexibility for her family as well as an increase in income.  And, he wanted to know if I'd be interested in replacing her.  It was like I was stuck by lighting... YES!!!  It was almost too good to believe.  God doesn't always work like this, but I was sure glad he had this time.  I went in on Wednesday for an interview and got a call from Mr. T last night offering me the job.  Yikes! 

But there are some crazy details missing in that story.  First of all, not only do I truly believe God brought this opportunity, but he also put all the rest of the pieces into place.  Hubbs and I have been talking about putting Miss A. into daycare a couple days a week, just a couple hours to get her around other kids.  She doesn't get that kind of interaction except for on Sundays in Sunday school.  I had already looked into daycares before this happened.  The one we chose came from a friend's recommendation, and it's a "drop-in" daycare so it's flexible. 

Then after having my interview I got this horrible knot in my stomach (worry), about how Miss A. wouldn't be getting a nap at daycare.  We're BIG on naps in our house, it helps us all get through the day.  And since this job opportunity was realy starting to materialize, I was thinking about it more and more.  The knot got worse and was outweighing all the good things about the job.  I finally threw up my hands and told God, "I need an email or a note... something direct!  I have no idea what to do, help me please?"  And of course he did... although not in an email or note, that would have been pretty cool though.  Actually the answer to my prayer came in a friend.  At bible study on Thursday, a friend and the wife of one of our pastors, was chatting with me and asked about how the process was going.  (Only a few people know about this, as mentioned before it was kinda top secret)  I shared with her the fear I had about nap time and the changes and she told me she was the same way.  When her triplets (yes triplets!!!) went off to preschool it was in the afternoons and they were missing their naps.  She panicked.  But eventually they got into a routine where the kids would come home, have a snack and talk a bit, and then take an early evening nap.  They still went to bed at night and slept well, and are still doing this now and they are 7.  Wow! 

My knot disappeared.  God once again had spoken to me and told me not to worry, he would take care of it all.  Yes, it's going to be a rough transition and Miss A. is going to be cranky for a bit - shoot so will I, but it will work out.  After all, if God is bringing me to it, he'll bring me through it. 

Another thing that is pretty nice, is that financially, we don't need me to have this job.  We are far from rich, but we're doing okay.  This job though, will pay for daycare and help us pay off our current car payment (woohoo for less than 2K) and save a little for a bigger car - much needed.  Also we can put a very small amount away for a future move.  Some day we'd like to buy a bigger house, and we'll need money for that.  I truly do hate that money makes the world go round.

So, I accepted the job offer today and will start on Tuesday with 3 weeks of training.  I've got a lot to think about and get ready.  Lunches for Miss A. has been the main thing, as when she was at daycare last week during my interview, she refused to eat.  Partly my fault, the meal I gave her was gross.  It was one of those Gerber Toddler lunches and it was nasty, I tasted it afterwards.  But also, she was so mesmerized by the other kids.  So I'm going to try to do more normal lunches like what she'd have here at the house.  I also ordered her the cutest Quilted Nap & Go Bag.  It won't get here in time for next week, but we'll make do until then.  I know you're probably wondering why I got that when she won't get a nap.  The answer is, the daycare has state mandated "quiet times" and during that time the lights are turned off and the kids get to rest and watch a kids movie.  They all have to lay down on their mats.  So Miss A. needs something to lay on.  The bag I ordered has a pillow and everything, it's so cute I can't wait to get it.

I'm really excited and hoping this does help me to be a better wife and mother.  I'm hoping that the time we have together as a family now will be of a better quality, and not me being so wiped out from the day.  I'm ready to focus my mind on something different, and I love that I'll be serving the Lord at the same time.  It's not the job I would have chosen for myself, but God knows what is best and what we need and I think it's going to be great.

It's feels go to be able to tell someone.  The announcement won't be made until next Sunday, so I still have to keep quiet... thus if by chance someone reads this from our church, KEEP IT QUIET!!!!!  I don't think anyone does except Miss A's "Aunt TT."  (Bummer... kinda wish I had a audience even if it was just two people.)