I called her this afternoon after reading her most recent blog post, and she called back a bit later.... we just got off the phone. I so wish I could be there, back home, with her, talking and laughing and letting her complain as much as she wants. She feels she is being so negative, but really she's just expressing how her heart feels. To me, it's not complaining.
She has been on my mind a lot lately and I've been praying for them. I know fertility/infertility is hard no matter how it happens. We have quite a few people/friends around here who are dealing with or have dealt with this. Shoot, we even have a group of women at church who get together and talk. I was telling my mom the other day that I've never known so many people dealing with this. But the reality is, it's very very common.
It took us a bit of time to conceive our daughter, but within a year, it happened. We were blessed, you could even call us lucky. But I don't think of luck when I think of my friend. It's not that she isn't "lucky" or even blessed, she definitely is, she's just in such a deep and heavy trial right now..... I don't even have the words to express what I'm feeling. I pray all the time that God would bless them with a child. What an amazing mother she would be. She is an amazing "mother" to all her patients, family and friends. And I feel she deserves this. But it's not for me to decide.
I'm sure in this time of suffering, no one likes to hear "in God's time." I sure didn't enjoy hearing that when I was waiting on a husband and all my friends were engaged or married. But last week at my bible study a friend mentioned something and it just rocked me to the core... in a good way (probably because I knew this already, but it was so simply stated... and we tend to forget these things). We've been studying Joseph (not Jesus' Dad), and were talking about why in the world he had to go for so long in slavery before he was raised up to an exaulted position. She said, "there are so many specific details and events that have to fall into place before our future can happen." Hello! We don't see these events, we don't know what God is doing and why he is making us wait. Sure, most of the time it doesn't even add up until we get to the long awaited event, but it eventually does. And then we look back and see how much more wonderful the end result is, because God's hand was in it.
Anyway, back to my best friend. She probably doesn't want to hear this again, and she'll probably read this, and I hope she isn't let down.... but God has His plan, and it's better than ours. That doesn't help the feelings she feels, or how much I think, wish, and pray for their child. For she'll probably still feel that pang of sadness when someone else finds out they're pregnant, and I'll definitely keep praying that this month is the month for them.
I know you don't know me, and you don't know my best friend, but if you would, take a minute and say a prayer for her and her husband. Just knowing others are praying for you, even strangers, can help. And hopefully next time any of us feel like something we so desperately want isn't working out, remember, God is working on your future!
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to proser you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
"Since no one knows the future, (except God) who can tell someone else what is to come?"
Ecclesiastes 8:7
(parenthesis added by me!)
TT, I love you, and I'm here any time you need me... even the middle of the night, thats what friends are for!
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