Willpower...

I have NONE!  Especially when it comes to food, specifically speaking, chocolate.  I love most all junk food, although I'm not a huge fan of candy - unless it's chocolate. 

I've seen what junk food does to my body, I'm definitely not sportin' a bikini these days, but I can't seem to stay away from it.  Chocolate is my alcohol.  It's what I turn to when I need a little something that gives me pleasure.  I've even joked that it's not only a desire but a need, thus an addiction.  And quite possibly it is. 

5 years ago before Nathan and I got married, I gave up sweets for the last month before our wedding.  I lost about 10lbs.  Amazing right?  (Yes, yes, I know stress & wedding stuff helped too)  So I know it's possible for me to give it up or eat less and lose weight, but it sure is hard.  Somewhat recently my Mom started Weight Watchers.  Not that she needed to lose weight, but she felt her clothes might fit better and she wanted to start eating right.  You see, my Mom didn't cook much when I was growing up.  So I have a pretty bad menu and pattern of foods stored in my head.  I love to cook and I've learned and created new recipes, but I still fall into the old pattern of junk food too often.  But I did see how successful my Mom was with WW, and so I thought I'd at least try to eat better, assign points to things and go for it.

Fail!  I sat up here today and did my church work.... oh yes, I do some admin for our church.... anyway, I sat up here and had a nice little snack of carrots w/ ranch and water.  Not too bad.  That was until I went downstairs and grabbed a cookie... and another cookie... and another cookie.  Good grief.

"Get rid of it," "Dont' keep it in the house,"  people say, but.... but... well...  I guess my reason of keeping it for Na is stupid.  He'd probably prefer if we didn't keep that stuff either.  It's temptation for him as well.  So maybe my willpower will get a little boost if I get rid of the current stuff (yeah, we'll probably eat it to get rid of it) and then stop buying it.  In the long run, it will be good for all of us, including Ava.  Not that we let her eat that many sweets, she's a huge fan of M&Ms, but we also should be examples for her. 

So there's my confession for the day... I'm a junk food addict.  On another note, I'm always open to try new recipes, so if you have any great ones, let me know.